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The LangaList

16-Dec-99

A Free Email Newsletter from Fred Langa About BrowserTune,
HotSpots, Columns, Tips & Tricks, and Other Activities

1) Thanks A 1.1 Million!
2) A Fix For Scripting Woes?
3) A Fix For "Not Reading The Instructions?"
4) The Plague Year Ramps Further
5) A Good Year for Virus Hoaxes, Too
6) Soooooo Close!
7) TANSTAAFL, Take Two
8) The Fake "Gyne" Langa.Com Address
9) Just For Grins
More!

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1) Thanks A 1.1 Million!

In the last two weeks, you folks have pulled over *1.1 million pages* off the BrowserTune server!

With all that activity, BT2K itself operated with extremely high reliability--- well above a 99% success rate. I've fixed the tiny number or actual bugs reported, and can now say with a very high degree of confidence that if you run BT2K and encounter a problem, it's almost surely a *browser* or system problem and not a *BT2K test* problem.

And as usual, you folks have been absolutely great and have made numerous suggestions beyond bug fixes (see the items below). I've implemented many of these as well.

In the next few days, we hope to move BT2K to a less-stressed server and---the plan calls for Monday Dec 20th---to release BT2K to the general public.

Meanwhile, the BT2K release candidate remains open for the private use of LangaList subscribers: Get your tests in before the doors open to the general public! http://www.browsertune.com/bt2kfast

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2) A Fix For Scripting Woes?

One of the toughest Level Two Tests in BT2K is the scripting page: More browsers die there than on any other single page. Although properly-installed and fully-functioning browsers sail through the test without a hitch, heavily modified browsers (such as the AOL variant of Internet Explorer) often stumble and cannot complete the page.

The BT2K help pages suggest a series of possible fixes, but reader Dinos Lambropoulos found a solution I'd missed--- it was buried in Microsoft Knowledgebase in such a way my keyword searches never found it:

I commend you on an excellent newsletter and an excellent browser test suite. I had a suggestion regarding your Two Minute Torture Test that might help other BT2K users. The first three or four times I ran the test, I received a scripting error; specifically, my version of IE 5.01 on Win98 was choking on the window & text intensive Web scripting operations. I tried your suggestions at http://www.browsertune.com/bt2kfast/fail.htm  but had no luck. Then I found this article in the Microsoft Knowledge Base about troubleshooting IE scripting problems: http://support.microsoft.com/support/kb/articles/Q181/6/98.ASP  . Voila! -- my browser passed the Two Minute Torture test. Keep up the great work. I learn something new from you every week.

Thanks, Dinos! I'll bet that will help many, many people!

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3) A Fix For "Not Reading The Instructions?"

In the last issue, I wrote this about BT2K: 

Sometimes I feel like I'm beating my head against a wall. How can I make things clearer? How can I ensure people actually read the text and follow the links? 

That's not a rhetorical question: If you have any suggestions as to how I can ensure that people actually read the text and follow the provided links, I'd love to hear 'em

Many of you responded. I heard from teachers, support technicians, writers, people in business, military trainers and leaders, librarians, shop owners, and many others, all of whom have struggled with getting people to follow instructions.

One reader (Bob Cortner) told me about a time he expressed a similar frustration to his pastor at church: The pastor was philosophic about it and replied that people don't follow the 10 commandments, either. 8-)

The consensus view seems to be that no matter what you say or do, no matter what you write, some number of people just aren't gonna follow the instructions, no way, no how. Many who wrote in said that because I was getting well under a 1% rate of people not following the instructions, I should count my blessings; they said a 10% rate is more typical! Yikes!

Many others who wrote suggested I simply remind users of the old acronym RTFM: Read The [um, Fine] Manual.

But my favorite suggestion to keep me from "beating my head against a wall" came from reader Rick O'Gorman. He simply suggested I stand further away from the wall. Sage advice. <g> 

Thank you to all who wrote in!

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4) The Plague Year Ramps Further

A few issues ago, I wrote "I expect all of next year to be a kind of 'Plague Year' online." And in the issues since, that prediction seems to be coming true (see http://www.langa.com/newsletters/dec-6-99.htm ).

This past Wednesday, yet another worm came to light: the W32.NewApt.Worm

It's so new the antivirus people are only just now developing detection and repair tools for it. The worm will email itself out to others via Microsoft Outlook or Netscape Navigator. 

Symantec says:

When activated, the worm will display an error dialog and modify the registry so the worm is reloaded each time the computer is restarted. The error message box will appear as [a message about a missing DLL].

When received by email (and if you do not have an HTML capable email client), the message body will be:

he, your lame client cant read HTML, haha.
click attachment to see some stunningly HOT stuff

Otherwise, the text will include a reference to a website and the following message:

Hypercool Happy Year 2000 funny programs and animations….
We attached our recent animation from this
site in our mail ! Check it out!

Attached to the message will be one of the following file names: g-zilla.exe, cooler3.exe, cooler1.exe, copier.exe, video.exe, pirate.exe, goal1.exe, hog.exe, party.exe, saddam.exe, monica.exe, boss.exe, farter.exe, cheeseburst.exe, panther.exe, theobbq.exe, goal.exe, baby.exe, bboy.exe, cupid2.exe, fborfw.exe, casper.exe, irnglant.exe, or gadget.exe

The worm will add the following registry key:

HKLM/Software/Microsoft/Windows/Command/Run/tpanew

To remove the worm from memory, remove the above registry key and then restart. Delete all infected files.

And update your anti-virus definition files; most AV vendors will have a fix for this very soon.

The rapid appearances of new viruses, worms and all has convinced me more than ever that the coming year really *will* be a Plague Year. In fact, I've made that the topic of this week's column on InformationWeek Online. 

Do you think the recent upsurge in destructive viruses is a temporary anomaly, or a portent of things to come? Have you or your business instituted formal, proactive antivirus procedures, or do you rely on casual or reactive measures? Is it better to scan for viruses at the server or firewall, or at the desktop, or both? What products have you found especially noteworthy?

Join in the discussion at http://www.informationweek.com/langaletter!

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5) A Good Year for Virus Hoaxes, Too

I've gotten a number of reader emails asking about this message that they've gotten:

TO ALL

IF YOU HAVE RECEIVED ANY OF THESE
GAMES = FROGAPULT.EXE ELFBOWL.EXE
(FROG GAME) & (ELF BOWLING GAME)
PLEASE CAN YOU DELETE THEM COMPLETELY
OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM AS THEY BOTH
HAVE A DELAYED VIRUS ATTACHED TO THEM
THAT WILL BE ACTIVATED ON
CHRISTMAS DAY AND WILL WIPE OUT YOUR SYSTEM.
LET EVERYONE KNOW OF THIS.

The "Let everyone know of this" is a clue; almost all email hoaxes use language like that so you will unwittingly help spread the hoax.

It's easy to check up on these hoaxes, for free. (And please do check; never forward an email just because someone else sent you a message with "tell everyone" in it.)

For example, if you click to http://www.symantec.com/avcenter/ you'll see that this is indeed a hoax mail.

Always check out new virus and hoax alerts yourself. Otherwise, you're letting yourself become part of the problem!

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6) Soooooo Close!

The LangaList is approaching a major milestone number of subscribers: Can you do me a favor and help me reach it?

If you each could just get *one* friend to sign up---just one!---it'd mean a lot to me. Can you help? Your friend just may find a new source of useful information; I just may gain a new subscriber; and you just may win a Palm III organizer for your trouble (full details also available via this link):

http://www.langa.com/recommend.htm#1

Or, win a copy of "Poor Richard's E-Mail Publishing: Creating Newsletters, Bulletins, Discussion Groups and Other Powerful Communications Tools." This book has been described as "An excellent, straightforward manual on email publishing, banner ads, driving traffic and especially ethics." (Full details also available via this link):

http://www.langa.com/recommend.htm#2 

Either way, thank you, and good luck!

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7) TANSTAAFL, Take Two

In the last issue I told you about the acronym for "There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch" and discussed two "free" services. One was ExpertCity, a web site offering near-real-time "live" help. (See http://www.langa.com/newsletters/dec-13-99.htm#3 )

Today (16-Dec-99) ExpertCity ( http://www.expertcity.com ) is scheduled to come out of beta, and will become a for-pay service. The PR people there tell me that you only have to pay if you're satisfied with the answer you get; they have a money-back guarantee. That's an interesting twist.

Many readers suggested similar help sites---some free, some for pay. For example:

http://www.chalk.com This site offers free tech support via e-mail on everything from Windows to Macintosh, hardware and software. The techs (myself included) do try to answer questions within a few days.---Dennis "Guru-X" Deveaux

Check out http://www.fixwindows.com  I just recently found it and was really impressed with the help to Common Windows problems.---Jason A. Wallwork

Fred here's another really good bios information site I use all the time. http://www.ping.be/bios/  Keep up the good work and Merry Christmas to you and yours---Jim Bergstrom

http://www.NoWonder.com  offers free support for Mac, Windows, OS/2, BeOS, Linux/UNIX, and Web/HTML. If offers a premium service (they pay people to answer these questions rather than rely on volunteers) for faster responses and since being recently bought-out plan to introduce live, interactive support and bidding.--- Peter Burgess (other readers also mentioned NoWonder)

There is also http://www.help.com  --- WingmanMD

http://www.liveknowledge.com  is basically the same thing--- the customer posts a question and states how much they are willing to pay for the answer and then we bid on it. I have seen many people post questions with a price of "free" - and I have seen a lot of answers - also for "free."---Jonathan Benson

We too offer such a service--- http://www.SandysSoftwareMagic.com --- but ours is based on the concept of service first and then the "customer" decides what the service is worth. As far as I know we are the first to do things this way, much like the shareware concept, but with service.---Jim Cales

I have been using a similar site for almost two years and haven't been asked for any renumeration yet. The URL for this site is: http://www.allexperts.com/  --- Jamie Yee

Thanks to all who wrote in!

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8) The Fake "Gyne" Langa.Com Address

If you've followed my work at all, you know I am dead-set against spam. I follow three rules:

1) No one has ever been added to or retained on my subscriber list against their will, and no one ever will be. 

2) I have never sold or given away any subscriber names, and never will. 

3) I have never emailed any subscriber anything but what they have signed up for, and I never will.

So you can imagine how honked off I was last week to start getting bounceback emails from someone called "gyne" at langa.com." The email was spam, titled "For Serious Marketers ONLY!," and was a come-on for some illegal bulk email service: A spammer offering spam services to others, for a fee.

Of course, there is no "gyne" at langa.com; what these morons had done was fake an email header to make their spam look as if it had come from langa.com. Note that it did *not* actually come from here at all; in fact, the email was routed through a server in China.

The company sending the spam is "The Marketing Center" with a phone drop---just an answering machine---operating out of Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Their number is too new to be listed in any reverse-lookup directories, so I don't have a physical address for them. Yet.

I've called them and left a rather pointed message on their machine, and am investigating my other options with the Florida Attorney General, BellSouth, and the FCC. It's a bit murky because none of the mail actually went through my server; all they did was make up a fake "from" email address. But still, it's clearly wrong and unethical. 

I hated spam before, but I am ballistic now. 

Please know that if you ever get anything that even remotely resembles spam from any address at langa.com, it's *not* from me.

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9) Just For Grins

This fits in well with the "not getting the instructions" item above. Although this story has made the rounds and may be apocryphal, it's supposedly from the WordPerfect support desk; this version was sent to me by reader "tbellitt." I can believe it's all true except for the last part, which is a bit unkind and probably represents the support technicians' fantasy answer.... what he or she wished he/she could have said:

"Computer assistance; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Can you move your cursor around the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
"Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
"Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes -the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power failure."
"A power... a power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer." 

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See you next issue!

 

Best,

Fred

(fred@langa.com)

(Please recommend the LangaList to a friend! (And maybe win a Palm III)

An easier-to read formatted HTML version is available in the "what's new" section of http://www.langa.com.  (The HTML version of each issue normally is available by 9AM EST [GMT-5] of the issue date.) All past LangaList issues are also available via the same link.

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Disclaimer: The tips and other information given in the newsletter are researched and are believed to be accurate, but we cannot and do not guarantee that all the information here will work on all systems, for all users, all the time. All information herein is offered as-is and without warranty of any kind. Neither Langa Consulting LLC, nor its employees nor contributors are responsible for any loss, injury, or damage, direct or consequential, resulting from application of any information presented here.

This newsletter is a free service of Langa Consulting LLC and is Copyright © 1999 Langa Consulting LLC. All rights reserved.

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